Anger Words: Rancor

ran·cor
n. Bitter, long-lasting resentment; deep-seated ill will.

[Middle English, from Old French, from Late Latin, rancid smell, from Latin rancēre, to stink, be rotten.]
ran'cor·ous adj., ran'cor·ous·ly adv., ran'cor·ous·ness n.

rancor. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Retrieved August 27, 2009, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/rancor

I was certain that when I looked up “rancor” I would discover that it was a cognate of “rankle,” perhaps with relationship to “couer,” French for heart.

So I was genuinely surprised to discover that the words are unrelated. Observe the wisdom of those who built the English language by daily using and borrowing words to represent ideas ... “rancor,” “long-lasting resentment” is signified by a word coming from the Latin for something that has spoiled, gone rotten, become “rancid.” (My freshman comp teacher told us that the "c" in Latin was always hard, so try saying “rankid” and the relationship with “rancor” will be much more obvious.)

How do we avoid this emotional stench, this rancidness of the mind and mood? Practice mental hygiene. One cannot help the thoughts that may flit into consciousness, but we have a choice on the thoughts we stay focused upon. When we dwell on a wrong we have suffered, when we fantasize about what the other party deserves, we poison ourselves.

The ABCD anger log process will help us to dispute these thought patterns. Dispute?!? But we've been wronged! Are you telling us that the only solution is to give in to wrong and injustice?

No. Not at all. The solution is to stop letting others live in your head rent-free. Time spent resenting, dwelling on past wrongs generates a fearful future. We become unable to find serenity and seek refuge in vengeful thoughts which further poison our minds.

While on many occasions an honest analysis will lead us to dispute our judgments and beliefs, there will be times when that analysis will end with, “but I was wronged.” On these occasions, we do not dispute the fact of being wronged. We accept it. We then ask “Is there a better way to think about this?”

Remember, holding on to your right to resent a wrongdoing is like holding on to your “right” to rub laundry detergent into you eyes. The Buddha has been credited with saying “Holding on to resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” Don't cling to your resentments, for they soon become rancid in your head and make all your thoughts stink!

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anger words, words, resentment, anger, mental hygiene