Nice Page on Active Listening

The National Park Service has a nice page on the skill of active listening. In addition to pointers on how to do it, they also include times when it may not be the correct skill to use. This is part of their Community Toolbox series of pages. A very useful resource.

Have You Ever Beaten Somebody to Death?

The question hangs heavily in the air at anger management class. "Have you ever beaten somebody to death?"

The class members look at me as if I'm nuts. "Of course not!" is the answer.

"Why not? What has kept you from beating somebody to death when you're angry?"

Most think I'm teasing them, but we go around the circle and I probe until each can answer the question. It is a learning experience--the class members discover that they have already been using their own resources to manage their anger.

I hold my hand at arms-length from my body, "You've all been practicing anger management ... out here." I move my hand in, just a few inches from my chest, "the goal is to practice it much earlier."

Most students get it. I can see comprehension dawning. Anger management is not some new skill they must develop from scratch. It's something they've practiced nearly their entire lives, albeit unconsciously. Now, becoming conscious, and committing to learning and applying skills, they have hope that their lives can change.