Road Rage: Car vs. Bicycle

This image was snapped by a witness to a road rage incident where the driver of the car became enraged after the bicyclist shouted for him to slow down. The driver is being charged with 2nd degree kidnapping. The (literal) insanity that people can be "driven" to is amazing. I'm certain that sitting on his couch at home, James Millican (who drove the car) would have told anybody who cared to ask that he would never deliberately ram a bicyclist. But after being shouted at to slow down (and possibly having a few drinks), Millican allowed his reaction to drive him into some serious legal trouble. Fortunately, the cyclist was unharmed, and was able to get off the car when Millican slowed for an intersection.

Why would an otherwise sane human being do this? Once can only speculate ... but we know that anger does not come from external events, but rather from how we (choose) to think about those events. Millican must have felt some threat ... probably to his ego by the shouting cyclist. And once a person feels a threat, even just a psychic one, all bets are off unless they immediately use the tools of emotional intelligence and anger management to rein themselves in.

Self-knowledge and self-control, major components of emotional intelligence, would have helped Millican to not simply react, but to notice his thinking and his reactions and to contain them. Anger management skills could have helped him to de-escalate and behave in a rational manner. If emotional intelligence were considered as important as IQ, if it were taught in schools, Millican would likely not be facing charges and the incident would never have been newsworthy. After all, who can imagine a headline that reads Local Man Practices Anger Management and Avoids Committing Mayhem by Using Emotional Intelligence Skills Gained in Grammar School!

Anger management classes based on stress management help students realize that alcohol is a bad way to relieve stress. Emotional intelligence components help students to understand themselves and their triggers as well as to coach themselves through frustration. These techniques form part of the core curriculum of Anderson & Anderson's Anger Management and Executive Coaching curricula.

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Here's a look back at this blog through the wondrous and whimsical wordle.net ... a picture of words stitched together by relevance and association.

Happiness, Complexity, and Emotional Intelligence

Are happy people necessarily more complex people? To understand this counter-intuitive idea we need to begin with the importance of social capital. What exactly is social capital? It's described as an informal network of mutual aid and information exchange that keeps communities thriving. Crucially this network can act as a potential buffer against stress and alienation.

The irony: those who are happy are least susceptible to stress, and thus to anger. "Social capital" turns out to be a major benefit of practicing emotional intelligence. To know oneself and to control oneself lead to greater opportunities for happiness as well as being the foundations for emotional intelligence.

Anger management techniques, such as positive self-talk (essentially being your own coach) help to strengthen these abilities. Journalling on a regular basis can also help us figure out where difficulties lie. As far back as Aristotle, people have recognized that self-care, self-control, and self-awareness form crucial bases for happiness.

In Bowling Alone, Robert Putnam finds that happier people are more socially connected. This requires social awareness and relationship management—and also form a basis for emotional intelligence.

Maintaining meaningful social connections in a modern life that is ever more disconnected requires creativity and a willingness to embrace the more complex lives that go with holding down a career, commuting, being involved in family, and being a part of one's community.

Complexity leads to involvement and demands solidly developed skills of emotional intelligence. To some these seem to come naturally. Others require practice and growth, often times through executive coaching or an anger management class. But the dividends of greater happiness and less stress come to those who work for it.