tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802Thu, 27 Aug 2009 20:15:18 +0000The net's premiere anger management blog. Reflections and comments on the experience of teaching anger management classes. A chance to analyze the experience of being an anger management teacher and trainer. Ideas for presenting anger management material.http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/noreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)Blogger53125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-8271377801614467774Thu, 27 Aug 2009 19:15:00 +00002009-08-27T13:15:18.137-07:00anger wordsrancorranklemental-hygieneresentmentwordsangerran·corn. Bitter, long-lasting resentment; deep-seated ill will.[Middle English, from Old French, from Late Latin, rancid smell, from Latin rancēre, to stink, be rotten.]ran'cor·ous adj., ran'cor·ous·ly adv., ran'cor·ous·ness n.rancor. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Retrieved August 27, 2009, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/rancorI was certain http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2009/08/anger-words-rancor.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-7167125295705533681Sat, 15 Aug 2009 15:44:00 +00002009-08-15T08:44:00.450-07:00anger wordsanger managementwordsprayerangerran⋅kle–verb (used without object)1. (of unpleasant feelings, experiences, etc.) to continue to cause keen irritation or bitter resentment within the mind; fester; be painful.–verb (used with object)2. to cause keen irritation or bitter resentment in: His colleague's harsh criticism rankled him for days.Rankle comes to us through a long and twisted path. Our story begins in the Latin, with the http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2009/08/anger-words-rankle.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-5627984293752682171Fri, 14 Aug 2009 21:43:00 +00002009-08-14T15:30:07.261-07:00assaultragecarroad rageLittledan77 / CC BY 2.0Here's this weeks roundup of road rage stories:The photo comes to us courtesy of Littledan77, who tells the story of riding his bicycle and being cut off by a car, nearly struck and killed. He was raging and furious, but had a creative vision — this picture. “There was nothing I could do to vent except this picture which to be honest took so long to do that I have calmed http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2009/08/road-rage-roundup.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-7046463416880487618Fri, 14 Aug 2009 06:17:00 +00002009-08-13T23:24:21.936-07:00If You Put That Picture On The Internet I'll Call My Lawyer, originally uploaded by Jeremy Brooks.Jeremy Brooks took this intense picture in San Francisco. He wrote the following about it:This guy was on the corner of Stockton and Columbus in San Francisco yelling at a homeless man. Anger, conflict, drama — sounds like a great shot to me. I crossed the street but was unable to get anything http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2009/08/picture-tells-10000-words.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-8403931263335413616Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:40:00 +00002009-08-12T11:44:58.050-07:00absolutesimprovizationperfectionteachinganger managementemotional intelligenceattitudeangerMy sister, Cheri Gregory, writes in her blog, One Thing I've Learned:But it’s the way of handling “errors” that draws me post powerfully to improv as a metaphor for teaching. When there’s dissonance, when things don’t go quite as expected, when a new idea flops, or when I misread a situation, none of these errors is deemed a failure. In the paradigm of improv, errors are considered "competent http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2009/08/teaching-as-improv.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-8529084667636130698Tue, 11 Aug 2009 15:31:00 +00002009-08-11T21:02:53.689-07:00assertive communicationcorporate anger managementaggressionanger managementwork ragestress managementexecutive coachingemotional intelligenceanger management in the workplaceangerGregory Kyles, at the Anger Management Institute of Texas wrote an article about workplace anger recently. he distilled a list of five steps to curb workplace anger:Steps to curb Workplace Anger: Managers should be cognizant of the first signs of aggression. Absenteeism, late-coming, tardiness and deterioration in performance are some warning signals.• Organizations should invest in Anger http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2009/08/five-steps-to-curb-workplace-anger.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-6446795568073785779Mon, 10 Aug 2009 22:35:00 +00002009-08-10T15:35:55.747-07:00relationship empowermentassertive communicationabsolutesmanipulationrelationship healingrelationshipsrelationship toolswordscommunication strategiesemotional intelligence“Always” and “never” are two words you should always remember never to use. – W. JohnsonWhen we use absolute words like “always” and “never,” we create distance between ourselves and our partners. These words are judgmental, and generally an exaggeration that does more to hurt than to heal. They also disguise the true intent of our conversation. Let's face it my wife doesn't “always” squeeze the http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2009/08/assertive-communication-you-always-say.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-8572514891530448274Thu, 06 Aug 2009 21:57:00 +00002009-08-14T15:17:21.644-07:00anger wordswordsmadnesslanguageetymologycommentaryangern. Anger; wrath. ire. (n.d.). The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Retrieved August 06, 2009, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/irec.1300, from Old French ire (11c.), from Latin ira "anger, wrath, rage," from Proto-Indo-European base *eis-, forming various words denoting "passion" such as the Greek hieros "filled with the http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2009/08/anger-words-ire.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-6308868659618202894Wed, 05 Aug 2009 19:46:00 +00002009-08-05T12:46:23.103-07:00Shannon Mumford, of Daybreak Counseling Service blogged earlier this week ...A married Wisconsin man who was also dating three women at the same time was busted by the ladies and subsequently tortured for his poor relationship skills.When the three women found out they were all being cheated on by the same man, they devised a plan to trick the man into coming to a motel room, being bound and http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2009/08/destructive-effects-of-anger.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-6610030564765456455Mon, 03 Aug 2009 16:52:00 +00002009-08-03T09:54:16.372-07:00anger managementprofessional stressstress managementanger management workbooksemotional intelligenceIn order to save our customers money, we are bundling all of products. This will allow you to increase your effectiveness as an anger management provider, affiliate or client by having a wider array of our products for your use.This from George Anderson's popular blog, Notes from the World of Anger Management. His online anger management store provides the best deals.anger management, anger http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2009/08/great-bundle-deals-from-anderson.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-1717906796167549064Mon, 03 Aug 2009 04:32:00 +00002009-08-02T21:54:38.746-07:00ragerelationshipsanger managementphysical healthpeace of mindPersonal Coach and author, Sharon Cook listed four benefits of letting go of rage.Improved physical health:Anger activates the body for an immediate fight. While this activation can improve one's odds of beating (perhaps literally beating) an enemy, when it persists for too long, or happens too frequently, it wears away your health, including excess stomach acid, immune system dysfunction, and http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2009/08/4-benefits-of-letting-go-of-your-right.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-1194199426944182923Sun, 02 Aug 2009 08:06:00 +00002009-08-14T15:46:18.147-07:00assertive communicationanger wordsrageanger managementwordsstress managementemotional intelligenceangerwroth. Pronunciation: ˈrȯth also ˈrōth. Function: adjective Etymology: Middle English, from Old English "wrāth"; akin to Old High German "reid" twisted, Old English "wrīthan" to writhe. Date: before 12th centuryMeaning: intensely angry : highly incensed : wrathfulAnger management skills can help prevent twisting one's life up with anger, can help prevent the writhing with suffering that anger http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2009/08/anger-words-wroth.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-7703632372241395561Sun, 02 Aug 2009 07:24:00 +00002009-08-02T00:57:22.077-07:00OKLAHOMA CITY -- An Oklahoma church canceled a controversial gun giveaway for teenagers at a weekend youth conference. Windsor Hills Baptist had planned to give away a semiautomatic assault rifle until one of the event's organizers was unable to attend.Gives a new meaning to "Onward Christian Soldiers," doesn't it? I'll have to learn to pray with my .357 mag in my hands ... What's next, http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2009/08/praise-lord-and-pass-ammo.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-5913964849646913182Sun, 02 Aug 2009 06:38:00 +00002009-08-01T23:56:08.657-07:00shootingcaliforniasocalroad rageguntraffic jambrandishing firearmalaskaIt's not surprising to read about yet another LA road rage incident. Recently a Van Nuys man was charged with four felony counts for shooting another driver on the perpetually crowded and crawling 101 freeway. The suspect has been charged with attempted murder, assault with a semiautomatic firearm, shooting at an occupied motor vehicle and possession of a firearm by a felon. (CBS 2)But in the http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2009/08/road-rage-its-not-just-for-city.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-5995235019612553563Thu, 17 Jul 2008 05:12:00 +00002008-07-16T22:16:29.211-07:00carroad rageanger management classesbicycleexecutive coachingemotional intelligenceThis image was snapped by a witness to a road rage incident where the driver of the car became enraged after the bicyclist shouted for him to slow down. The driver is being charged with 2nd degree kidnapping. The (literal) insanity that people can be "driven" to is amazing. I'm certain that sitting on his couch at home, James Millican (who drove the car) would have told anybody who cared to ask http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2008/07/road-rage-car-vs-bicycle.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-8532767507677747287Mon, 14 Jul 2008 08:57:00 +00002008-07-14T02:05:06.266-07:00tagsblogself-referencepostswordsHere's a look back at this blog through the wondrous and whimsical wordle.net ... a picture of words stitched together by relevance and association.http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2008/07/tags.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-4869504639849197999Mon, 07 Jul 2008 06:03:00 +00002008-07-06T23:12:03.778-07:00happinessanger management classescomplexityself talkself coachingemotional intelligenceadolescent anger managementAre happy people necessarily more complex people? To understand this counter-intuitive idea we need to begin with the importance of social capital. What exactly is social capital? It's described as an informal network of mutual aid and information exchange that keeps communities thriving. Crucially this network can act as a potential buffer against stress and alienation.The irony: those who are http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2008/07/happiness-complexity-and-emotional.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-4536072705899444488Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:56:00 +00002008-06-30T09:57:39.366-07:00assertive communicationroad ragebumper stickersanger managementtraffic jamstress managementpersonalized license platesemotional intelligenceA study by Colorado State University social psychologist William Szlemko found drivers of cars with bumper stickers, window decals, personalized license plates and other "territorial markers" are more likely to be aggressive drivers.It's a pity. Granted, one needn't be a genius to put a sticker on your bumper (as those still driving around with Bush 04 stickers prove), but personalizing a car, http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2008/06/road-rage-bumper-stickers.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-2465052546810457357Tue, 29 May 2007 10:19:00 +00002007-05-29T03:46:45.825-07:00yogasympathetic nervous systembreathstressstress managementrelaxationparasympathetic nervous systemDr. Hans Selye, the father of stress theory, defined stress as "the nonspecific response of the body to any demand made upon it." The "demand" can be a threat, a challenge or any kind of change which requires the body to adapt. The response is automatic, immediate. Stress can be good (called "eustress") when it helps us perform better, or it can be bad ("distress") when it causes upset or makes http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2007/05/stress.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-8953553177188160315Tue, 29 May 2007 09:28:00 +00002007-05-29T10:52:36.827-07:00court mandateanger management penologyanger management referralanger management classesThe Anderson & Anderson Anger Management Curriculum is currently the only anger management program accepted by the California Superior Court in Los Angeles County for court mandated anger management referrals. At the request of the Anger Management Committee of the Los Angeles Court, Anderson & Anderson is required to provide free copies of its client workbooks to any officer of the court. This http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2007/05/anger-management-consumer-alert.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-1981841806342665383Wed, 23 May 2007 04:53:00 +00002007-05-29T02:27:45.292-07:00ventinggoing postalaggressionfunworkplace safetywork rageEAPWhack your boss is not a suggested method of anger management. Research has shown that participating in this type of anger displacement can actually INCREASE your hostility and aggressiveness. So DON'T visit Whack your boss. It's unhealthy. It's antisocial. It's bad for you.If everybody starts to fantasize like this, we might have a COMMUNIST REVOLUTION!If you can score 17 ... well, then you're ahttp://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2007/05/not-anderson-anderson-approved-anger.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-928573340390759799Tue, 22 May 2007 08:02:00 +00002007-06-13T21:44:09.289-07:00mysticismovercoming angeranger management strategiesanger management techniquesI ran across a similar list on another blog the other day. Since the original author asked me not to use her material (even though it was "fair use"), I have adapted it here:Realize that you feel angry.Relax your mind.Release.Remember to care for yourself.Recharge with supportive people.Reshape your anger generating perceptions.Rectify your errors and retire your resentments.What a great list of http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2007/05/rs-of-managing-anger.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-4546376991762771134Mon, 21 May 2007 08:19:00 +00002007-05-21T01:24:14.139-07:00apologyamendsanger managementanger loganger journalYou lose your temper. You internalize your anger. You take it out on others. The best way to get over the guilt you feel, is to apologize.Not being able to apologize, due to pride, ego or shame leaves you with a residual anger that can build over time and release itself again and again. The only way to really be free is to accept responsibility for your actions and make amends.—Anger Management http://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2007/05/fine-art-of-apology.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-2376515965021283883Mon, 21 May 2007 02:44:00 +00002007-05-20T19:47:56.105-07:00anger management classesanger managementaddictionanger addictionIf you had the ability to block pain would you use it?If you could prevent yourself from hurting and feeling despair wouldn’t you?Well that’s what many people do with anger. In essence there are a vast majority of people addicted to anger. When we are angry we don’t have to feel pain, we don’t have to feel anything but rage and disdain.Like many drugs that block pain anger can also block positivehttp://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2007/05/addicted-to-anger.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6995802.post-7050984006534602047Sun, 20 May 2007 16:50:00 +00002007-05-20T10:02:29.204-07:00anger management classesproactive anger managementexecutive coachingevidence basedWhile anger management is not a cure for psychopathology nor mental illness, it can serve to separate at-risk students from those who exhibit deficits in managing stress, anger, assertive communication and empathy/emotional intelligence.The United States Postal Service has demonstrated the effectively of anger management as a violence prevention strategy. "Going Postal" is becoming a rarity mediahttp://www.johneldermft.com/anger_management_blog/2007/05/while-anger-management-is-not-cure-for.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (John Elder, MFT)0